blogging isn't gay

2012-01-18T23:44:00.001+08:00

One of my fave plants in my organic garden! Would have probably drawn the rest of the plants if it weren't so late.

2012-01-11T13:47:00.002+08:00

So there's this thing called the Earth Lodge, an environmentally friendly lodge deep in the Kedah jungles. Ulu Muda. It's overseen by this guy who is my mother's family friend, and the area is actually pretty cool. There are elephants, leopards and tapirs lurking around, though mostly you'll just see their footprints. Fresh ones. You'll see hornbills too, and there's several caves you can explore.

This is all very interesting, and pretty related to what I want to do (I mean vaguely I guess, if you want to take Environmental Management surely you'll have to see exactly what you have to manage?) but the problem is, it's so deep in the jungle that there isn't a phone line. I don't really use my phone to text or call anyone unless it's necessary, or unless I'm particularly bored, but there's something about seeing the "No network available" sign on my phone that I find extremely disturbing.

They call it "Nomophobia". It's the fear of being out of mobile contact, out of credit or battery, or being in an area with no reception. It applies to me. I am ashamed. But I can't help it. I just feel so disconnected from everything, like anything could happen to me and no one would ever know. It's scary. It's a totally understandable paranoia. What if I get lost? Knowing me, it's something a little likely to happen, because I have little or no proper sense of direction whatsoever. I can't even tell you the way to my grandma's house in Bangsar, even though I've been going there over the years more times than I could tell you. It's bad.

But I think I can handle it? Now to ajak people. Who wants to come!

Home

2011-10-08T01:08:00.002+08:00

LOOK

It's small I'm sorry but it's 1.30am and I really can't be bothered. Anyway.

That's the thing I went with Lynn to just now. The Westlife concert.

And it was so good.

I mean, like I never expected to have that much fun. It was so fun it was silly. It was fun even with these two insane girls sitting next to me screaming their faces off (it was the shrillest thing I have ever heard). But. Those boys. I mean men. They aren't 20 anymore. But they certainly sound like it. It's like these 10 years hadn't even happened bless them.

And they sang all my favourite songs too. And I didn't want it to end ;__;

There was this part when they pretended to leave, the thanked us and all and introduced their band, and then they walked offstage, waving. Hoars. They came back like 5 minutes later, after the crowd had screamed "We want more!" over and over. They were back in their tuxes. And they sang What About Now. But THEN THEY SANG UPTOWN GIRL AND IT WAS AWESOME BECAUSE I WAS PRAYING THEY WOULD SO LYNN WOULD CAN IT (she kept saying it was a Backstreet Boys song what!)

They sang Flying Without Wings. And When You're Looking like that. Mostly their old songs. Ah, evergreen btches. I'd sit through it all over again.

And Shane, oh my god. Alright then off to bed.

2011-06-26T19:12:00.002+08:00

For once in a very long time, I'm actually looking forward to go to school. I can feel the madness building in this house, like cholesterol slowly clogging up an artery

(and eventually causing a stroke).

Something's got to give.

Actually, something has given. I have.

Nausea

2011-06-21T20:17:00.002+08:00

There's a really wrenching pain in the pit of my stomach right now, as if some knot of barbed wire got stuck in there. And I feel sick, like I-need-to-empty-my-stomach-right-now kind of sick. And I feel sad. And my head hurts.

I don't know why exactly I choose to be sad only now. I haven't given it much thought about my grandfather since he died almost 10 years ago, but something Lynn said this morning sort of triggered some fragmented memories.

I never really knew him much. He lived in Terengganu, and I've always hated that place and I still kinda do now. It's trauma from the hours spent getting there when I was younger. That time my dad made some smartassed decision to take a 'shortcut', and in the end we got stuck in a jam somewhere in Kelantan and only reached my grandparents house at 8pm. 8 hours I sat in the car, stuck with three other people at the back, listening to a cassette filled with oldies playing over and over and over again. Incessantly looping. For 8 hours.

But anyway, I digress. The point is I never really knew him. I don't remember much, I barely even recall what he looks like. I only have about three or four specific memories of him. It's quite sad, and only now do I feel how much of a loss it was when he was gone.

I remember him giving me 10 ringgit for no reason at all. That time I was still in JIS, an international school, and BM in my house was almost non-existent, so I can imagine how jarring and weird it was for me to ask, in perfect American accented english and with no attempt whatsoever at speaking BM, why he'd given it to me. It must've been like Norm now (sorry Norm.) I don't remember his answer, but he let me keep it. I remember thinking to be a very nice kind of man after that.

And before, when I was even younger, I'd ask him how to spell the name we called him, Ki. I think I wrote him a card or something, but I addressed it to 'Key.' He laughed. I was confused. I'm a bit embarrassed at how un-Malay I was then. I'm embarrassed because I still am, a little bit, now.

Years later, he had to go for a major heart surgery. Maybe it was a bypass or something, but it was really big because all his kids, spread out all over Malaysia came to see him before he went. He has 7 kids. Grandkids, uncountable then and the number still spiraling upwards today. The point is that practically everyone came to see him. He was about to go into the theater, and my mom told me to well, salam him before he did. So I did. All the grandchildren were crowded around his bed. And then the doctors wheeled him away.

The gravity of the situation never really hit me then, but now, almost 10 years on after his death, it does. It never crossed my mind how incredibly touching it was for everyone to be there, giving him support and stuff before they did weird things to his heart with a knife.

And then comes the worst memory. It was night, and we visited my auntie's house all the way in Gombak just to see him. He was in bed, sleeping. Hopefully sleeping. And I was just outside, hanging around, sitting on chairs and dangling my feet, wishing to go home.

The next day I woke up unnaturally early and I saw my mom was in a baju kurung, looking ready to go out.

She told me he'd died.

I was shocked of course. I said there was no way he could've died. My reason : "We just saw him last night!" That was a stupid kind of reason. Forgive me, I was nine. I went to his funeral, but I don't remember feeling too sad at his leaving. I did feel sick though, but I think I feel way sicker now.

God bless his soul. I need to lie down now.

Fear

2011-04-16T13:20:00.002+08:00

I didn't want to be scared. I fought down the intense urge to flee and told myself I was being irrational, plain silly. She couldn't help being that way. She couldn't help swaying back and forth on the chair, banging her back onto the seat behind her. I worried at every thud. She couldn't help yelling every now and then, a sound so guttural and raw I just wanted to curl into myself and die.

The first scream completely startled me, but it confirmed my suspicions. I was chewing my food cross-legged on the floor, and it's a good thing I didn't drop my plate or anything.

I was watching her from the corner of my eye as soon as I sat down. I already sensed at first like there was something wrong with her, but I wasn't sure. Maybe she was just having a bit of silly fun? But she looked about 9, too old to do those kind of things. So I just sat there and ate, trying to figure out if the girl sitting a metre away from me was mad.

I suppose I should have used the term 'mentally challenged'. Mad or retarded sounds kind of rude. But yes she was mad. Her scream made my stomach curdle. Everyone there averted their eyes, trying to seem like it was a normal thing. Like What, this girl yelling in the middle of a party? Happens all the time. Eyes downcast, my mom muttered "It's okay, she's not normal."

That's when the fear crept in.

I realise the things we fear are the ones we can't control.

Why aren't we afraid to live then?

We don't control what happens to us, not really. But I suppose we're under this illusion that we do, so we're lulled into this sense of security. Why are we afraid of wild animals? Because we don't know what they'll do next. We can't see inside their heads, we can't negotiate, we can't predict anything. Not much anyway.

With every yell my fear escalated. I chewed on my cucumber faster. It was bitter, so it was hard. I was getting nauseous. The girl kept bouncing on her chair, eyes blank. Her mother finally came, told her to come upstairs. "Come, lets go upstairs."

Yells of protest.

Surreptitiously the guests moved a little further away to create a little path for her to walk. I was so afraid then, I kept having images of her attacking me for completely no reason, clawing and biting at my face. Stupid, I know. But I really couldn't help it. I was terrified. I looked downwards thinking,"don't hurt me, don't hurt me, don't hurt me".

And of course she didn't. Her mom pulled her away. She stumbled forward, walking on her tiptoes. More yells from upstairs.

As I left the house I couldn't help but shudder and then feel terrible after that. And grateful that I or anyone else I knew wasn't born like that. I guess I'll never be volunteering at the Mental Health Association then.

Turning points

2011-02-21T20:13:00.003+08:00

There is something about turning points that really scares me. But I think scares is too tame a word. Chills. Right now just thinking about it, thinking of all the little things that have triggered major changes in my life, I feel cold. A little nauseous even.

I don't think it's something I should be afraid of, but it is.

I realise little things, things you wouldn't even really think about, could totally change how you live, how you see things. And it scares me because the change is so sudden, it takes you completely off guard and sends you hurtling off into some totally unexpected path.

It's happened so much recently, and I can't help getting a little... worried. It's not necessarily bad, these changes, but the sheer suddenness and violentness of when it takes you is just unnerving. I'm not sure how to explain it without really want to getingt into details.

You could take for example maybe a guy you just see in class. You're not really friends, but you don't have a reason to hate him. He's pleasant, and you might like him even. Sometimes you say hi when you happen to stumble upon each other, but besides that he's not much of anything to you.

But then something happens, literally just overnight, and suddenly it's impossible to see him the same way anymore. He's ceased to be just a nobody. Suddenly, he's an abject figure of hate.

And then there's the other thing. How I can suddenly well, love something so much, when yet just hours ago I really didn't.

Maybe for so long I've been deluded into thinking I had control of what happened to me. And then all these things happen, and now I'm just in shock.

Change.

I always thought I could handle it, but the truth is, I can't.

OK THAT'S IT.

2011-02-14T21:15:00.003+08:00

I JUST READ THROUGH MY BLOG.

I WAS RIGHT. It IS depressing.

What the hell happened to me oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This place could use some fangirling! I can't seem to stop watching Brendon Urie in his new music vid because god I don't even know why but I'm always so bizzarely attracted to creepy, dark slightly twisted things. Murders, eyeliner? Ohhh, yes.

Well I guess this is where I dump Gerard, I'm sorry bb but you've gone all weird and happy so I don't really love you like I did yesterday I'm sorry I'm sorry! Dye your hair black again and then we'll talk.

Omg this morning I kept repeating 'Things have changed for me, but that's okay, I feel the same and I say, things have changed for meeeeee" Oh god I'm going to stop now screw add maths I'm going to go watch Cesc's post-Wolves match and die a little so seeya!

Erm.

2011-02-14T20:40:00.004+08:00

So this morning at between 12 to 1am while I was flipping through my dash instead of sleeping like a sensible, sane Form 5 girl, I got three messages.

I was about to reply :

Aww, happy single awareness day to you hoa-oh. Yeah. Right. Nevermind.

Decided it was too cynical and got back to watching Brendon Urie. Mmm my god that man.

I hate the fact that when I reflect on most days I think, 'unremarkable'. It's quite sad really, I miss when I actually used to love going to school and had a billion things to write about and say but now all I can tell you about is how much the subjects are getting to me and how tired I am every day and how much I can't wait to leave.

So if I were to post something on this blog every day, this page would get pretty darn depressing.

Okay fine maybe things aren't that bad really. I got chocolates from Jess today, well they weren't all for me but I ate most of them because I have the least self control in the world when it comes to chocolate. Freakin heck. Can't say no (won't say no).

Hell

2011-01-28T20:31:00.004+08:00

Hello!

Oh my god, I haven't been here for ages and ages and ages. This is my first post of 2011, wow. I'll talk about this year then.

It isn't that bad really.

Lol wait no that's a lie.

It's hell.

It's barely been a month in and already two teachers have walked out on us. I wasn't involved but I mean what? God. What is wrong with you people? Students and teachers alike, students, can't you shut up, and teachers, can't you just deal with it?

Oh shoot gotta run. Rant is not over.

I'm having fuuuuuuuun (and I don't want it to end. Please. Please?)

2010-12-21T22:00:00.001+08:00

It's been lovely here in Singapore, though at the end of the day my legs always feel like they're splintering into a zillion tiny bits. All we do is walk around. I'm not complaining though, I love it. And I love the place we're staying at, even though the Malay guy at the counter downstairs is a little dodgy. 's alright. I even took pictures of the place with my crappy laptop webcam. Doesn't do it justice at all, but w/e.

It's awesome.

ok that's all for now bye!

sh1t

2010-12-14T13:23:00.003+08:00

It's crazy how much losses affect me. I'd wake up bleary eyed and disorientated but that only lasts for a second before everything crashes back again and I remember the pain and I'd be there lying in my bed, fully awake and too fugged up to move. I don't want to move. I don't want to face the world. I don't want to read the paper, even though they'd be nothing about the match in there since it started at 4am, I don't want to watch the news because there's definitely going to be coverage, I don't want to leave the house or do anything because everything seems pointless and bleak and no matter what you do you can't run away from it.

This is masochism. This is... this is suicide.

No one's been tweeting because they're probably depressed themselves; I mean yeah to be honest they weren't really great yesterday. But still. I want to read a moany depressing tweet from one of them just so I know I'm not alone in this. O K. YNWA time it is for me then. Sh1t.

Ok ok no. That song'll just make me cry everywhere, I know it.

I want to cut Rio Ferdinand. And I'd like to stick a knife in Nani's gut, and give it a big fat twist. Then I'd stab him again. And again. And again. Disgusting piece of grime. Disgusting. Absolutely filthy disgraceful awful horrid sickening cheating piece of slime.

THE OLD TRAFFORD PITCH WAS HORRIBLE. Everyone was slipping everywhere and even Robin did and he missed and crap Chamakh should've stuck it in the back of the net when he had that chance, and why the hell were we constantly being caught on the break? and that was such a freakishly freakish sick-to-your-stomach goal I don't ever want to remember it or see it again, and poor Woj he missed it by inches, but he should have tried harder he should have god I DON'T KNOW.

And Cesc did look lost. He did.

O...kay I just managed to depress myself even more. I'm just going to curl myself into a ball on the floor and stay there for a couple of hours now.

Mother of Arsene

2010-12-01T08:18:00.003+08:00

I have come to the conclusion that I do indeed miss my hoars very much.

And I will cut some people in TM because they took forever to reconnect the internet, procrastinating and taking their own sweet bleeding time. They made me miss the Villa liveblogging, and Carolyn drunk. Ugh.

It was better today though cuz I actually did get to watch the Wigan match and the stream wasn't that bad! And Robin started and he was captain and his passes were exquisite and unf omg you can't describe that kind of perfection. And you wouldn't understand. Except for maybe Shman who I bombarded with Robin 2 minutes before I passed out on the couch.

Yeah.

Okay this is sort of a pointless post, but I didn't want to see this blog so dead, and I actually do still love it a little. It just sucks that I can't put gifs. Meh.

Alright I'll be off now to do something more useful (ie paint or sleep or eat or listen to Westlife over and over mmmmhmmmmm)

2010-11-21T20:53:00.002+08:00

There once lived a teacher Cassandra
Who was born with the nose of Cleopatra
She always changes her mind
Won't do Ace-Edventure form 5
Who does she think she is, ah?

Tee hee

"Yeah, I am aware that I have a reputation of being an aggressive, attacking player."

2010-11-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

Oh my god Andrew is Robin Van Persie in disguise

OH MY GOD

Of missing organs

2010-11-16T21:51:00.004+08:00

So I will probably start lots of sentences with 'I' here, because I can't be bothered to do otherwise and I think I've done enough sentence phrasing at english class for today.

I'm going to freaking miss this class like breathing ok. This is what occupied my Tuesday nights for 4 years, and next year they will probably always feel a bit empty. I'm gonna miss Karma like mad, because she's been my crazy partner in crime for 4 years now and now she can't anymore. Suddenly next year looks bleaker than ever. I can't wait to leave.

I feel like I've lost an organ actually. This whole year sucked because I was going through the days missing some vital part of me. Suddenly school ended without me getting to say a proper "bye bye betch" and Lynn isn't here and Ba Sur went back to Indonesia and now I won't have any english class anymore. Huge chunks of my life are gone right now.

I feel like I've lost half a lung, and it hurts like hell.

Oh my god

2010-11-03T19:53:00.003+08:00

Why on earth is Demi blonde

WHY

MY CREYS

Curse you Joe you made her insane

And she's like the only Disney girl I like

The only one

And now she's in rehab

And blonde at the same time

Why

Aw hell, I don't know whether to

2010-10-31T17:33:00.002+08:00

take a break and go Evo's house
watch videos of Robin
play Robot Unicorn Attack
or force myself to study even more.

It's not like I've been studying the whole day even. I spent like 2 hours online with Carolyn so, yeah.

I hate this.

Unfortunately, it combusted

2010-10-31T17:17:00.002+08:00

My brain won't take anything in anymore.

And that's really annoying. It won't stop being a pissy bitch, rejecting and rejecting any form of information related to studying. Especially chemistry and physics. It's insane. I'm going insane. Thank god that tomorrow's the last day - but the thing is, what if I'm just doing the exam but without a smattering of care? Because that's just it. I just don't care anymore, and that really scares me.

I care.
I don't care.
I care.
I dont.

It's a vicious neverending cycle and I suppose my brain is just opening up its line of self defence. Cuz if I push it even harder the cookie dough which is my messed up mind may be even more messed up beyond repair.

I don't know. It's my fault. I didn't study enough. I have horrible time management skills and I lack sleep. So yeah. To be completely honest with myself I think my marks this time will not be what I want it to be. I don't want to say 'horrible', because if it is I'd just break down.

I'm not even sure if what I'm writing now makes sense, because I'm just pouring and pouring these screwed up god knows whats into this Blogger text box.

It's just so sickening. I don't care anymore. There are times when I just stare at the question incredulous and say "WHAT THE HELL AM I EVEN STUDYING THIS FOR? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA GODDAMN USE IT!"

I have internal fights with myself all the time and it's killing me. Killing me.

Oh bloody hell.

2010-09-22T14:31:00.003+08:00

I swear to god, I feel so sick now.

My stomach feels like emptying itself.
Cannot unsee.
Cannot bloody unsee.

BLOODY HELL, IAN YEE. BLOODY HELL.

Well those cookies I ate before lunch sure feel rancid in my stomach now, and so does the actual lunch itself. I was just flipping through Star Two's pages as I always do, and as usual I was excited to read Ian's weekly football article.

Well hell.

Thank you for showing me the exact moment Eduardo broke his ankle, when that idiot guy lunged at him and Dudu's foot turned almost 90 degrees to the right. At first I didn't see what was so bad about it, it was a picture of two booted feet. But then I actually read the headline and I saw how unnatural the foot looked, and worse of all I saw the word ARSENAL on the sock.

That was when I suddenly felt violently sick.

Fortunately I wasn't sick all over my plate. I held it all in, miraculously.

I then proceeded to read the article itself, which was a list of the horriblest tackles in the history of Primier League football. This was a very stupid move. I knew I'd regret it.

I do. I do.

They showed a picture of Ramsey screaming in agony on the ground. Cesc and Nicky were looking so distraught it was painful and in the background, crying in red and white stripes, was Shawcross.

I actually pitied him then, but now with my newfound appreciation for Azza that all changed. Some men really are just scum. It's disgusting. When Arsene mentioned him and bad tackles together in the same sentence last month, Shawcross called him 'weird' for talking about him at all. Like as if he didn't deserve to be pointed out for crazy physical tackles, and for fouling goalkeepers. How can he say that? When he cried after breaking Ramsey's leg, did he cry because of what he did or did he cry for his career that at that moment was seriously under threat?

"He's obviously got something against me. It's just weird," he said.

HAHAHA I WONDER WHY.

I read about tackles and injuries that made van Nistelrooy turn away cringing, ones that made the player who witnessed it puke all over the pitch and the horrible one at United where there was so much blood it had to be hosed off.

Read it yourself. I effing dare you to watch the videos.

2010-09-20T23:21:00.002+08:00

HATERS GUNNA HATE

Bloody fun!

2010-09-08T12:43:00.002+08:00

Failed Attempt No 1

2010-09-08T09:55:00.004+08:00

...Well.

That didn't come out so right now did it. Photoshop is harder than I initially thought.
Oh well at least I found some awesome blood splatter thingies!

2010-09-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

I have climbed and conquered Mount Google

2010-08-31T23:09:00.003+08:00

At the end of today, I am filled with a sense of achievement.
Because I, after watching several videos on a loop a few dozen times, have succeeded in learning a new language. De Nederlandse taal, Dutch!

Dutch actually sounds like throat clearing, because some words with the letter 'g' in it are pronounced like you're trying to hack up something. And it also involves a lot of tongue rolling, sort of, the Rrrr sound.

Eg : Geel. Yellow. The 'g' is pronouced like KHH. KHH as in the sound you make before you spit, (KHH ptui!) This is quite an offensive way to put it but there's so other way to describe it I'm sorry -.-

I learned numbers and colours and how to say 'I'm sorry, I can't speak Dutch'. This is actually freakishly fun. I'm detecting a smidgen of hysterical glee deep within me. I am actually doing this. By myself. With no one forcing me. Verbazingwekkend. Amazing.

Alright admittedly that last italicized word I used I got from Google Translate. GT is like my best friend now! I can stalk foreign peoples' facebook page comments (HEH HEH) and read what Spanish girls have to say about Cesc kissing a guy. Awesome stuff.

I also watched some bizzare Dutch Bert and Ernie. I assume they're talking about fruits; Ernie is being his gay self and calls a banana an orange. I think. I'm as clueless as he is.

"Ik ben Nederlands, en ik woon in een windmolen."
"I am Dutch, and I live in a windmill."

Oh how times change

2010-08-19T15:26:00.002+08:00

I feel like one of those old ladies that still don't know how to use a handphone and complain about all the new newfangled contraptions out there and grumble 'In my day, we sent letters.'

I guess that's how I feel about Tumblr. Cuz I think Tumblr has no soul. But that's just my opinion. Proper bloggery blogs are better. I can't explain it, they just are.

Most of Tumblr's just pictures anyway. Most of them aren't even yours. Doesn't mean I hate it though. I adore victoryoutofharmony. But that's probably because she actually writes stuff sometimes. I don't like writing in my Tumblr, it's like writing on a random piece of paper. Writing here is like writing in a journal.

Huh. Maybe I'm just a sucker for things with history.

I have Yellow Fever

2010-08-16T01:08:00.003+08:00

Repressed screams. Skittery heartbeats. Exhilaration. Anguish. Feverish anxious anticipation.

The new season haunts us again.

A new season that started with an Away game against LIVERPOOL of all teams. Ended in a draw. Thank god for Pepe Reina.

I sort of love the yellow strips. But it confuses me sometimes, I end up rooting for the ones in red instead and then I'm like OOPS NO NO I mean go yellows!

Maybe more fangirling tomorrow. Football sort of kills my brain sometimes. This is one of those times. I blame Liverpool. Oh god. -_-

Because I lub my bbs

2010-08-02T01:26:00.008+08:00

BBs are Emirates Cup Champions! :'D

Yeah I'm writing this everywhere and even though its only a short 2 match championship/tournament thingy I'M JUST SO HAPPY CUZ LIKE, FINALLY, FINALLY, they win SOMETHING. AND ALSO I'VE MISSED THEM MADLY.

Well they've been winning it every year for three years now and hopefully that'll continue!

Men of the match for me : Theo Walcott and Almunia! I ♥ you alllllllll

Evil is upon us

2010-07-29T16:20:00.003+08:00

She packs her bag and waves goodbye and Bon Voyage
Farewell see you in hell
I hope you rest in pieces,
Fug you!
- Too Much Too Soon, Green Day

This for some reason reminds me of Andrew and his sudden evil.
EEEEEVIL.

A WARNING FOR LYNN

2010-07-28T18:23:00.002+08:00

Flick your hair into my eyes sommore. One day... you'll look like this.
HOT RIGHT.
I'M DYING LAUGHING NOW OMGGGGGG

I feel sad for Liverpoolies & RYAN BABEL IS OSUM

2010-07-27T22:36:00.004+08:00

READ FROM BOTTOM UP!!!!

This is what happens when you don't pay the taxi driver and the police comes along and then he finds out you play for Liverpool.

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_football/2565269.html#cutid1

Dutch Liverpool bbs, I LOVE YOU <3>

(Just the Dutch ones though)

"NO WAY?????????? LIVERPOOL??????????????????????"

Stupid movies are funny

2010-07-25T17:41:00.006+08:00

Before I begin :

(self pixelated because of general tardyness)

Even though we took a picture in front of the huge Inception poster promo thingy, we didn't watch it (unfortunately.) We couldn't, didn't have the time. Instead we watched a stupid movie only because it's a tradition and because the Cullens are just so unintentionally funny and because I saw it with Lynn and Jab.

Okay.
Do not watch this movie. Okay fine, watch it if you want to, it was waaaaay better than New Moon (worst movie I ever had the misfortune to watch.) Just don't bring small kids. Bella's a little bit of a slut in this one. Actually, a LOT like a slut.

This movie is really stupid. Reasons!

1. Bella is such a freaking slut. I swear, it's like one moment she's kissing the crap out of Edward and the next she's cuddling a very topless, very ab-ey Jacob. The guy sitting behind us was like, "BELLA'S A SLUT MAN!" and naturally we started laughing like mad. I pity the malay couple in front of us who were trying to make out.

Bella : "JACOB, I WANT YOU TO KISS ME!"
Me : "SLUT!"

2. The killing scenes don't have any blood. Where's the blooooood?!?!?!?! COME ON. The vampires just crumble like marble. BORING! And the scene always cuts when someone's about to be killed.

3. I should've mentioned this earlier but oh well. People in this movie overdramatize like crazy. Example : Movie starts. Riley walks alone in the rainy night. Vampire called Victoria stalks him. Victoria gives Riley a cut. Something like a paper cut. Riley drops to the floor. Riley screams in anguish. Riley convulses like a dying spastic animal. What the hell? It's not like she cut off your hand or anything! GEEZ, GROW SOME BALLS!

4. Vampires are dumb.

5. The ratings for this movie range from half a star to two stars. The critics were right.

But it's mean to say it was all stupid. Among all the Twilight movies, this one's the best. Reasons :

1. Riley's cute.

2. I like Dakota Fanning. She's eeeevil.

3. Riley's cute and evil!

4. ...

If you really want to watch it, fine. But Edward and Jacob bitchfight A LOT. You've been warned.

(angkat kening)

2010-07-20T16:05:00.003+08:00

Oh mannnnn, I should go to Epsilon more often :D
EEEEE HARI, SHMAN, MASUK BETA OK?

They are poor tormented souls. I scribbled a Shman Poem on his table.

Shman Poem

Part I

Shman,
His sorrow flows in rivulets
The rain falls on his head
(Something something can't remember)
drenching his soul.

Part II

Shman,
His sopping wet soul cannot dry under the fan
Hari needs to take it out and hang it.
- Jannah

Hell I cannot remember it much. Dammit!

I wasted quite a lot of time today actually. But at least it was fun. And I got to do an ogive all by myself how epic is that?!?!???? (Answer: Very.)

And now I'm a setiausaha PRS which is cool but is basically dog work! But that's okay. I do dog work for Ustaz all the damn time. Lynn does more though. That's because I'm not good at kissing Ustaz's ass. Leek is. We were supposed to get sijils for being a PRS or something? All I got was a blank piece of orange paper and blue ribbon. I feel cheated.

Oh, and I'm sorry Hari. (Okay actually I'm not. Hoho! :D)

Birthdays

2010-07-19T22:18:00.007+08:00

Cesc Fàbregas besa a Raúl Gómez en 'Caiga Quien Caiga'

2010-07-19T22:10:00.003+08:00

Translated (praise the Lord for Google Translate) :
Cesc Fabregas Raul Gomez kiss in 'Who Drop Drop'

Raúl Gómez entrevista a Cesc Fàbregas para 'Caiga Quien Caiga' tras ganar España el Mundial de Sudáfrica 2010. Con beso incluído, como Íker Casillas y Sara Carbonero.

Raul Gomez interview with Cesc Fabregas for 'Who Drop Drop' Spain after winning the 2010 World Cup. Included with a kiss, like Iker Casillas and Sara Carbonero.

If this was an LJ post on ONTD Football, this would be my tag.

"WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY??!!!!??????????????"

NANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

http://www.formulatv.com/videos/2133/cesc-fabregas-besa-a-raul-gomez-en-caiga-quien-caiga

OHHH MY EYESS

2010-07-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

Walk with me. by duckiee featuring Burberry tops

GORGEOUSNESS!

2010-07-13T17:08:00.001+08:00

Reading this made me feel better somewhat. This is for all the Oranje fans out there (which are unfortunately far and few.)

http://netherlands.worldcupblog.org/world-cup-2010/van-marwijk-tonight-we-simply-werent-good-enough.html

C'est La Vie!

2010-07-13T16:04:00.002+08:00

Translated: 'That's life!'

As much as it pains me to say this, Spain deserved to win. They played clean football, (sort of. I will never forget the Puyol incident.) and I respect that. But The Star was really biased. To me, the Dutch on their best days have more flair and accuracy than Spain will ever have. 'The Beautiful Game'? What? Did you not watch the game? It was the worst (and longest) match I've ever watched. Even watching Arsenal lose to Barca was better than this.

Sure the Dutch played dirty. But then so did Spain. At least the Dutch didn't attack anyone in a fit of rage. (Get a grip, Iniesta. Poor Van Bommel.)

Oops. This was supposed to be a malice-free post. Oh well, at least Del Bosque's nice. He's one of my favouritest coaches in the WC. He didn't fly into a fit or rage when Spain lost to the Swiss. He's always so calm, like a Spanish Santa Claus. He wore this really blissful smile when his team won. He wasn't jubilant, or overexcited or anything. Just pure blissful. Plus, he didn't say mean things about the Dutch, even though his team we're just about being killed on the pitch. I love that dude.

Oh, another thing I love about Spain is Cesc Fabregas (but of course!) Actually he's the only player on the Spanish team I like. He's such a genius. And, he dedicated his win to the Arsenal team and fans! I love him even more now! And since he's so expensive - with the World Cup win and all - bankrupt Barcelona can just go suck it!

"All I can say is that this (World Cup victory) is for all the Arsenal players and fans, they are a world class club." "I am an Arsenal player and proud to be."
- Cesc Fabregas

If I was in Amsterdam I would cheer for the Dutch when they go around on boats along the canal. If I could I'd absolutely squeeze Van Persie and tell him I still adore him, even though he did next to nothing at the finals (Though momentarily I've dumped him for Cesc, but you don't need to tell him that.)

Pointless things

2010-07-10T16:45:00.002+08:00

Do you like puzzles?

There's a thousand of the pieces messed up on this table. It's such a big pointless mess because when you're done, you break it up again and put it back into the box. What's the point of doing it in the first place?

It's just like Add Maths. I came back from tuition one day, depressed and feeling stupid because everyone else knew how to find the goddamned point on the line pretty fine except for me. I whined about it to my mom on the way home. Clearly she has forgotten how suffering it is to study that awful mind numbing subject, because all she told me was that 'knowledge is good' and she didn't even bother sympathizing.

The thing is, how does it even help you? I don't want to be a freaking engineer/architect (?)/whatever vocation that utilizes Add Maths. I want to be a designer of some sort, preferably working for WWF. I bet that by the time I'm 20, the memory of how to count the area in points that form quidrileteral along with tthe tema for the gay book *dramatic voice* PAPA! AKHIRNYA KAU TEWAS JUA will be pretty much flushed down the toilet. In four years time I'll be busy with assignments and watching World Cup Brazil 2014 (probably.)

So the bottom line is GOD I HATE STUDYINGGGGGGGGGGG

*Insert crazy hysterical high pitched screaming in here

2010-07-03T01:26:00.003+08:00

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
WHAT. DID. I. TELL YOU?
MHEHEHEHEH, I LOVE ORANJE I KNEW THEY COULD DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh that was an epic, epic match. Imagine, the winning goal was a header off the head of the shortest dude on the pitch. Go Sneijder!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oranje beat Brazil, they FREAKIN DID!

HOYEAH! THANK GOD!

A sort of World Cup spam post yay yay yay yay!

2010-07-02T21:10:00.001+08:00

(Skip if you don't want to read the ramblings of a WC fangirl)

Remember this?

The ad showed the papers singing Rooney's praises then cut to the Spanish team, showing them campaking the papers in disgust with expressions that said, "Bah, Rooney!" Haha but Iniesta's blank look is funny. CESCCCCCCCCCCC~ (LESS THAN THREE ♥ !!!!!!!)

Look what's happened now.
There isn't a real paper saying that but it's totally what happened!

Anyway.
Ned/Brazil match todayyyyyyyy. Naturally I am a bit scared (Brazil, duh. They're like the Barcelona of the WC). Nyeh. I hope Netherlands still wins though! Come on. They're so effingly awesome, so happy, and so nice. I love the players! I love Elia, Van Persie, Van Bronckhorst, Dirk Kuyt, Sneijder, basically the whole team. Wheeeeeeee.

They haven't played as beautiful as that friendly against Hungary/Mexico/Iceland but I still adore em. Sigh. I miss the Premier League. I miss Wenger. I miss Arsenal. Gah.

Nani gave me tons and tons of awesome links. And I found lots and lots of awesome stuff I mean look!

SUCK ON THAT BARCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And another reason why I love Van Persie so freakishly much!

Robben : "9 points bitches!"

...Okay he didn't actually say that. But the picture screams it man.

RVP celebrating and Cesc hugging Iker. (Aww, crap Blogger. They don't play the gifs damn it!)

YOU GOTTA LOVE THESE DUDES!!!!!!!!

"Wira alam is HELL." - Lynn

2010-07-01T18:15:00.000+08:00

I'd expected to sleep at 2. No wait scratch that, 3. Latest, 3. I'd never thought I'd only be done with everything at 5.30. No wait, 6. Stupid printing took so long, and I forgot to put the documents in print queue until it was too late.

Wira Alam is a complete torture. It is.

You've got to write a pendahuluan, description, cabaran dan penyelesaian, and penutup for each activity. Maybe a page, or at least half a page long of decent (not any stupid crap, it's got to be decent) writing. In BM. At 3am. I started everything at around 10.30pm actually. I finished at 6. It's just...so...insane. Around 3 Lynn was about done (3? or was it 2?) and I was feeling crapper than ever. I kind of went offline and left Leek alone at about 3 or something, I couldn't bear to know if he finished before me too.

I wanted to cry. But it felt so pointless, like sort form procrastination. I didn't want to to sleep later than I already knew I had to. So I did it anyway. I watched Spain vs Portugal, since I was already up. It was boring, Fabregas didn't play and I missed watching the Netherlands' friendlies. I just kept typing and typing. Oddly I wasn't very sleepy, but it was probably because I'd already passed out for 3 hours in the afternoon. But still. Sleeping at 6 is madness.

I did start thinking about my bed more often at around 5. The drone of the commentators voice was so, so very relaxing. He didn't scream much because nothing much happened. But it was just so hypnotizing. And the vuvuzelas. Why, they weren't annoying at all. Not annoying. They were...

I switched off the TV. Couldn't afford to be sleepy, not when I was just halfway through my Kitar Semula. No. At 5.30am I thought to myself, "Screw it. I'll just print it now." And that was what I did. I unintentionally woke up my parents in the process. My dad woke up, took a bath, and started watching World Cup highlights. All the while I was arranging pictures and cursing myself for idiotically not taking more Penghijauan gambars. Repetitive pictures? Oh well. Too sleepy to give a damn.

But thank god it's over. THANK GOD.

Mmmuffins

2010-06-26T14:08:00.003+08:00

I've been on my feet since 8 o' clock. Shopping for stuff. Lynn, Jess, and the rest were dawdling over plastic cups. Me, I was screaming at the lack of oranges and wondering which type of chips were less flabbening and at the same time collecting orange cake ingredients.

Making cake is so tiring, oh god it is! It's like, you have to take out all the ingredients, and measure the precise amounts of each thing. By the time you're done pouring the flour, sifting it, chopping up butter and grating oranges, the table is quite a mess. And the floor. And your hair. Oh and you smell like butter (It's not a very nice smell.) Weirdly Jess likes to eat it raw, she was licking it off the knife like a cat licking the floor of the last bits of kari.

And you cant angkat the blending mixing thing too high, or else you'll splatter anything within a 1 meter radius. Then you have to spoon the batter into the cups, and soon you'll be wondering aloud and yelling why the godawful stuff keeps dripping to the sides of the cup.

Here's a scenario :
Me, Jess and Evo are spooning the orange batter into the tall brown muffin cups, batter coating our fingers and several strands of our hair.

"Shit."
"SHIT."
"SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FLOOR!!!!!!!"
"DON'T SWEAR LATER THE MUFFINS WILL TURN OUT BAD!!!!!!!!!!!"

We also watched Spain vs Chile on TV! Bye everyone seeya at the carnival :D

Jess : Torres hasn't been in good form :(
Jannah : Ngaha. Van Persie is so awesome. At least he scored a goallll~
Jess : MENGADA LA!

A Very Short House Rant

2010-06-24T23:18:00.001+08:00

I've always adored Dr Robert Chase. That blonde dude in House. I don't know, I just like him. He's nice. Taub is a cheat and Foreman is boring. It's Chase that stands out somewhat. Plus, he had been with Cameron. Had. She left him, because he killed the African Prime Minister. But come on Cameron. Chase is gorgeous. You're blind. And a masochist.

Weirdo.

2010-06-10T01:29:00.003+08:00

An album of EPICLY EPIC proportions. It's the broadway version. Freeeeeeaking awesome.
That's all I can say.

It's not over 'till you're underground/It's not over before it's too late/This city's burning/It's not my burden/It's not over before it's too late

I love you Broadway/Billy Joe.

ORANJE!

2010-06-05T21:59:00.008+08:00

I love the Dutch.

HONESTLY. Have you seen them play? Have you? Have you?

They're so good it's disgusting. Their edge! Their pinpoint precision! Spain is nothing compared to this. (...yeah. So loooong Spain.)

And I thought their qualifying match against Iceland was good. I mean this is just, awesome.
Awesome I tell you! They squashed Hungary 6-1. And they did that after went 1 down after just 6 minutes. Okay that was kind of a silly goal to concede, but the Dutch got back at em. With a bang! It's nutsssss.

I love goals, especially Dutch ones. The first came from Van Persie, my favouritest player of all. Then Sneidjer, then Robben, then Van Bommel, then some dude called Elia, then Robben
AGAIN.

The fans went nuts, a riot of orange. And all was going beautifully until Robben somehow injured his leg. Then everyone started biting their nails. I saw. It sort of killed everyone's joy somewhat, including mine. I hope he's okay, this could be the year for them. Defensively they're not so good but their attack is almost incomparable. They're ranked 4th by FIFA, they could just win. You never know.

Man, I love the Dutch.

The Smoldering Eyes Of Stefan Salvatore

2010-06-01T22:03:00.005+08:00

Add your usual pretty, stuttering lead character to these eyes and you get The Vampire Diaries. It's basically your average vampire show - involving a lot of staring and bad conversation. Seriously. Everything is so predictable, so painfully cliche. But even so, I endure it. Just so I can watch somebody awesome, and that somebody is Damon.

Damon. The diabolical people eating vampire brother of the goodie vegetarian Stefan (who is also a vampire, and just like Edward Cullen, except way more better looking). If someone was watching with me I would have been squealing like a nutcase, Twilight fangirl style. Wee!

Damon's parts are the best! He talks more, and with so much style and eeeeevilness. Not like that dreadful Stefan. All he does is stare at Elena and grunt a bit and stare some more, with his heavily eyelined eyes. (He's good at that, smothering people with his eyes.) To quote Hari : "COME ON GET REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The following sentence fully explains the essence of this series :

To quote Hari again : "GET REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I can't believe the idiot Elena doesn't know which vampire brother to pick. All she does is mope around and make bad choices. And then there's the evil blonde antagonist girl whose name escapes me. The question hanging over her head is 'To be jealous of Elena having two hot dudes fighting over her or to not be jealous?' The answer to that question is a definite yes. Without a jealous evil slut, there will be no story. DUH?

I need to reread the story, I've forgotten a lot. I wish they'd do a series on Wuthering Heights instead!

BLAME CHEMISTRY

2010-05-29T00:52:00.003+08:00

This ache in my stomach is getting quite bad
and the bzzzt of the light is driving me mad
I thought some water would help kill the pain (it didn't)
I restarted the light the buzz came again
I've been sitting at this table since 9.30
and I really don't want to read whats in front of me (its chemistry)
I'm not exactly sure what to do with myself
if I don't eat I think I'll endanger my health
I'm not sure why I'm writing this poem
its better if I just study xylems and phloems (like a sane, normal person)
its the middle of the night (it's 12.44)
and I dont think I want to study anymore
but theres nothing good now on TV
I wish they'd show Holland vs Mexico so I could watch Van Persie
(hee hee)

Anyway people, REAL MADRID IS COMING THIS AUGUSTTTT. That means I'll be able to see Iker Casillas and Ronaldo and Kaka (Evo's beloved) and Higuain and best of all, JOSE MOURINHO YAYYYYYY! (that is, if I go. I totally want to!)

For the love of normal!

2010-05-21T19:58:00.002+08:00

I realise that in order to live a fairly fuss-free and blissful life, I must exist in a state of normality. Any form of disturbance makes me unsettled and mildly distressed. An example of that is mess. I cannot sit in a cluttered area without having some neurotic compulsion to clean up. It's just crazy. Once I kept arranging and rearranging the controllers so they were perfectly alligned with the edge of the table. It's just plain madness. I've discovered my OCD.

But I digress. Right now there are a lot of disurbances. One is a biological induced one that I can't help. But besides that, the whole kitchen floor is covered in a fine layer of dust. And now there is a fine layer of dust on both my feet. I could barely read the paper this afternoon, the table was filled with a whole mess of things, plastics oozing sauce, forks, dirty plates and tins, enough to make me a little more than fairly distressed.

The kitchen was also painted an unsettling light turquoise. I really hate turquoise. It makes me think of hospitals for children, asylums, and barf. As if I need to be reminded that I live in a madhouse. It also made everything in there, including my bowl of very nice meaty soup, smell of incredibly off-putting turpentine.

To top it off, the Astro didn't work. So I couldn't distract myself from the smell, the dust, the heat. Right now two middle-aged chinese dudes with stains on their butts are sweating over the cable's wiring system in front of me. I can't bear to move. I can't bear to study. I just want everything to revert back into sweet normality. But before that happens I'll have to get over it, or I might just go mad.

2010-05-20T15:05:00.002+08:00

"It could get messy over the next couple of weeks. But eventually the marriage of Cesc Fabregas and Barcelona will be consumated."
-Neil McLeman

WHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2010-05-19T21:29:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday duuuuuuuude. I'm going to put this gambar in my Wira Alam 3 (hoho)

A little thanks

2010-05-15T22:09:00.001+08:00

HI. I am sixteen and I am full and I am watching the FA Cup Final!!!!!!

I have no idea what's wrong with me these days. It's like, I am filled with this incredible self-loathing. I feel like I don't deserve you people screaming at me 'Happy Birthday!' and giving me Body Shop soap and World Cup soccer balls and all that. But thanks for being so unbelievably nice to someone who feels like she doesn't deserve it!

I love all you epic people. Epic I tell yah. Thanks so much!!! (insert incoherent squealing here)

2010-05-09T18:06:00.003+08:00

Dear blog,

There's just mere minutes left now.

I just wanted to well, sign off. This'll probably be the last post I'll write in you at 15. I'm not sure if I love or loathe the past year, everything's just, hanging in the balance. I'm sure you've heard all about it, god knows how many posts I've posted here. I'm sorry if I was whingey or whiney or downright crazy. It's been a really bizarre year. I hope you stick around for a while longer. Maybe longer than just a while.

Til next year?

Sincerely,
Jannah

(And I'm sorry the date's all wrong, it's actually Thursday the 13th)

Rant

2010-05-04T21:57:00.003+08:00

To celebrate my 299th post here, I'm going to celebrate with a SOCCER RANT!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's to the crappiest soccer I've seen in my LIFE!

I'd like to see what Wenger says THIS time. And I thought that other time was bad. I mean, what the hell!

Okay, so yeah we all know the team is down to the bare bones. All the people that make Arsenal a fairly winning team are almost all out, but so? The subs are supposed to be good too right? And hello? Nasri? Van Persie? I mean, NO EXCUSES! For god's sake, they're at the top of top-flight football! At the rate they're playing now, it's as if they're a sucky relegated team!

It was quite painful watching Blackburn step all over Arsenal like that. Honestly, Arsenal defence is freaking sloppy. I think that maybe Sol Campbell and Silvestre are a little to old for this. They're quite slow! They can't keep up with all the strikers that are constantly charging at poor nervy Fabianski, who has the same penalty box presence as a 12 year old kid. He gets pushed around so much it is just SAD!

And another thing, what I find really annoying is their lack of shots on target. It's like they don't even try. They just pass the ball around irritatingly and they don't even try their luck. It was embarrassing! Blackburn had way more shots on target, at least THEY try!

There's also the fact that the players almost act like they don't care. I mean, hello. A few thousand fans travelled all the way to DW stadium/Ewood park to see you play fantastic football. Not sloppy crap people go home to complain about in forums. To see them play so bad, after travelling to god knows where for how long, gosh. If I was one of them, I would be really pissed.

But I suppose you can't blame just them. How about the referee? THEY DESERVED A PENALTY KICK DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

It was weird, Bendtner not being there. I think maybe if he was they might actually have a shot. He's actually not bad, contrary to popular belief. I've watched the 08/09 season review - he scored this awesome Messi-ish goal from a reaaaaally tight angle. So hats off to you Bendtner! And Van Persie. It's too bad he was injured this season, just too bad oh it's just so bad. I can't wait to see him on form.

So I guess that pretty much wraps this rant up. To make myself feel better: at least I'm not a Liverpool fan. Poor, poor Gerrard. Happy, happy Drogba.

2010-05-02T21:40:00.006+08:00

If Liverpool lose 1-0, that bad pass will haunt Gerrard forever.
To quote the commentator, "What was Gerrard thinking?"
To quote Jamie Yeo, "The title race has gone down to the wire."

Doomed. Lampard just scored! Um. Yay for the Blues?
[EDIT] WHOA, TORRES LOOKS DEPRESSED!

2010-04-24T18:53:00.004+08:00

Quotable quote : "Real women don't date Man U supporters! Yeah, I'M A REAL WOMAN!"- Elora

2010-04-23T20:48:00.004+08:00

Charlie = EPIC

Er...Happy Earth Day?

2010-04-22T16:55:00.009+08:00

Earth Day is today.

Really? I guess its fitting that I spent the better part of today thinking up ideas for SMKBJ Eco Day's recycled arts and crafts booth. Enviroweek (or whatever the hell its called, we haven't exactly decided yet) is from 21st to 26th June. On 26th June all the booths will be open and there'll be entertainment (if you consider student bands entertaining), auctions, and there is also the possibility of a Haunted Forest!

So come! Yes its a long way away but since today's Earth Day I thought I might as well tell you people.

I spent an hour making a few sample cards. They'll probably cost 50 cents each, but I might increase the price because hey, it's for charity. Proceeds will go to KPA, MNS, spastic chidren and other deserving organizations.

I made them with the back of my buku tekap, folio scraps and a permanent marker. So they're fully made out of reused stuff. There's still more to comeee! Pins and tins and a good ole jar of NUTHIN'!

2010-04-18T22:46:00.006+08:00

Tomorrow I will probably have very little to say and I'll be stuffing my fingers into my ears most of the time - I'm sorry to all affected. It's irrational but I can't help it I can't help it I can't help it.

"Although when it happens it hurts me to the bone, generally I like to think I fall into the latter category." - Frank Stubbs

I think he's drinking himself to oblivion right now. Frankly, I wouldn't blame him.

Magazines

2010-04-16T20:17:00.002+08:00

Recently I've been doing a hell of a lot of research - reading biodatas, forums, frequenting fansites, going through veeeery long interviews, listening to podcasts, watching exclusive interviews and stuff like that.

That was for oral. Now I have to repeat it all over again so I have a backbone for the magazine I'm supposed to finish in less than a month.
TORTURE.

Reading magazines are a hell lot more funner than making them. I think I'm going to give up Seventeen for FourFourTwo instead. That's a pretty drastic change. I don't think I'm going to tell my mom about this. She thinks the chicken I've been eating have guy hormones in them and that Cesc Fabregas is the name of a vacuum cleaner.

I think she was much happier with me reading magazines that showed you how to wear your pencil skirt a million different ways and how to apply liquid eyeshadow. Like that info's ever going come in useful. I don't even own a pencil skirt.

Nah, I'm more "Wenger: He was ready to die on Wednesday" than "Uncovered: The secret language of guys!"

The Unthinkable.

2010-04-15T15:49:00.002+08:00

This morning I woke up to the gut-wrenching realization that it was 6.30am and I had just missed watching my first ever north London derby. It was one of the first times I realised how absolutely permanent time is, how it will never, never go back on itself however much you want it to. It was too late. It was over. An hour an a half ago, to be exact.

I was horrified. I'd been waiting ages to see it, and I'd missed it. But that horror soon turned to simmering excitement, and apprehension as I went to check the score. Would I see a Tottenham vanquishment? Or...god forbid, the unthinkable?
And it was.
The unthinkable.

It was a relief at first. Maybe missing the match wasn't so bad afterall. But then, I just got mad. How the hell could they lose to Tottenham? HOW?????????????????

The way Wenger said it, they way Almunia said it, the way Clichy said it, it was like they had the league cup in the bag. Turns out somebody'd stolen it while they weren't looking. Possibly Harry Redknapp.

Cesc : DUDE, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CUP?
Almunia : WHAT THE-? I COULD'VE SWORN I SAW IT THIS MORNING!

I'd felt too many stressful emotions too early in the morning. So I just gave up and hoped I wouldn't have to face Mikhail. I did. He rubbed it in my face.

Blogs I love!

2010-04-08T21:44:00.004+08:00

I recently found this blog called Green Wedding Shoes, yeah it's a blog about weddings but the pictures and designs are GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

via http://www.greenweddingshoes.blogspot.com/

Well I've been following this all year and I've mentioned it before but I'll mention it again! Maddy and her awesome daily visual journal!

via http://www.indievisualjournal.tumblr.com/

Okay anyway, I find it awesome that all my favourite players are top three on the list! Sweet. I voted for Nasri, but Bendtner deserved it too.

What a Mess.

2010-04-08T18:57:00.007+08:00

Somehow I knew the headlines would have a Messi pun in them. I thought it might be 'Barca make a Mess of Arsenal' or 'Arsenal Messicre'. It turned out to be 'Don't Mess with me'.
I was pretty darned close.

He's all over the papers. He deserves to be - he is one hell of a football player. Arsene admits it. Bendtner admits it. Almunia admits it. Heck, even I admit it.

(So good it just isn't possible. But it is.)

Nevermind. There's always the Premier League. Wenger's finally sucking it up and willing to pay for some new players. Maybe he should buy Gerrard. He's so miserable in Liverpool it's quite depressing. (sorry Jessie)

He used to be so happy.

Gerrard: I hate this place.
Torres: Me too.
Gerrard: Let's get outta here man.
Torres: But you've been here for 11 years!
Gerrard: So what? I'd rather work for Wenger.
Torres: Yeaaaaaaah!

(via Telegraph)

I hope this happens again this year!

2010-04-01T04:38:00.003+08:00

OH IT'S ARSENAL/ARSENAL FC!/WE'RE BY FAR THE GREATEST TEAM/THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/match?id=290166&league=UEFA.CHAMPIONS&cc=4716

PS Bayern Munich didn't thrash MU, but sure OWNED them!

Night is my day

2010-04-01T00:18:00.004+08:00

I am sure needing one of these. Sigh.

Because I have a feeling it's gonna be another night lacking sleep. Well it's just another night in the life of Jannah I suppose. I'm so freaking nocturnal.

What do I do so late at night? (Oh look Jess a rhetorical question!!!! -oh wait, is this considered one?)
I do my homework because daylight burns and makes me sleepy. Yes I am a vampire. Boo.
I edit pictures because it's mad fun HAHAHAHAHA
I listen to Devon Werkheiser etc on Myspace Music because it's awesome and FREE!
I watch soccer. Arsenal vs Barcelonaaaarrgh

So can I have my coffee now?

EDIT

2010-03-28T14:04:00.003+08:00

I LOVE ANDREW FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANKS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-27T22:37:00.003+08:00

I edited this picture AND IT TOOK AGES.
You should believe in your team more, Arshavin. Hmph.

2010-03-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

Oh I adore the beautiful game. Don't you?

2010-03-22T21:30:00.004+08:00

(This was supposed to happen a second time!)
Since I can't count on Liverpool, Chelsea maybe?

"Salmon. Like the fish."

2010-03-19T21:43:00.005+08:00

I wonder - did they have to put a makeout scene at the very beginning of the movie? I was like, "What the hell, Lynn! I don't remember reading about this!!!" while slapping her and looking anywhere but the screen. Thank god they didn't put in the part when Susie's supposed to screw Ray in the bathtub. Thank god.

I think the only part the producer/director/whatever nailed was all the serial killer parts, and the part when Susie discovers all those dead bodies. Saoirse Ronan did a pretty decent job, she sounded all innocent and squeaky and ethereal.

Her heaven was so fake looking, honestly. -.-
But I did like the flowery sun and the ships in bottles floating on the sea. The beach was so beautiful, it was as if they had the 12 Apostles as a muse or something. Ahh.

Lynn didn't like it. Mr Harvey horrified her. He horrified all of us actually. I don't think I'll trust seemingly nice old men ever again. (SHUDDERS!!!!) HE IS SUCH A GODDAMN PERVERT OK!!!!!!!

OKAY ANYWAY ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!! I was watching TV and the Champions League draw was on (live!) AND THE DRAWS WERE LIKE MY WORST ARSENAL NIGHTMARE

Arsenal vs Barcelona.
WHAT?
WHAT?????????????????

Messi is in insane form and Barca was Cesc's old team!!!! It might meransangkan him to go back and I don't want that to happen!!!!!!!!!! He shouldn't leave! He's one of the main reasons I love Arsenal!!!!!!!!!!! ERGH.

So it was :

Lyon v Bordeaux
Bayern Munich v Manchester United
Arsenal v Barcelona
Inter Milan v CSKA Moscow

I'm banking on Bayern Munich to trash MU. Is that wishful thinking? (If you're an MU fan, don't answer that.)

I, murderer of time

2010-03-18T12:26:00.002+08:00

After a couple of days of slacking : doing nothing but walking around, watching movies and polluting the environment I felt pretty terrible and decided to finish part of my massive amount of homework. Do something good for once.
I can't.

So now I'm flat on my back watching the fan spin. Hayley Williams is screaming in my ears. I feel so productive.

"And never, will I have to answer to anyone. But please don't get me wrong -"

Thank God I'm home

2010-03-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

It's so good to be back. So good.

I've been itching and itching to go home ever since I left. I don't know, I was just so sick of shopping, draining all my cash, no Star newspaper (man I love that paper) and I'm just so sick of missing my soccer matches. GAH.

But of course SG is great too. I got to see Jenn and Uniz, whom I haven't seen in absolutely ages. People on escalators actually stand on the left so you can pass through without pushing and saying "Excuse me, sorry, excuse me, sorry!" Plus, the New Paper's sport section is awesome.

Still. I'm SO GLAD to be back. Now I can watch Yes Man on my laptop and eat papaya in front of the TV!
Man, I so can't go to boarding school. (PS I'm sorry if this post is relatively lame. I just got back, I'm sneezing and it's 1:42 am. Ahhh!)

New York Skyline

2010-03-07T18:53:00.003+08:00

MATCH NIGHT

2010-03-07T01:06:00.002+08:00

I love my match nights! Nights when my dad eyes my Arsenal jersey and asks, "Is there a match tonight?" Nights when I sit here in from of the TV screaming "GOAAAAAAL!" and hearing Norm scream "SHUT THE PIE UP!"

So awesomeeeee. I love John Dykes, he reminds me of Charlie.

It was quite a scary match tonight, Burnley was pretty threatening for a team with a crappy away score. But still, they only managed what the commentators called a 'soft goal' and Arsenal got away with 3-1! Just like with Stoke City. I like this match, Eduordo was back, Arshavin was back, and they won without Fabregas. Well he did score in the first half, but then he was replaced because Arsene's scared he'd break a leg or something.

I loved Arshavin's goal, that was the first time I saw him score! And he has epic banana yellow boots.

富士山

2010-03-06T17:50:00.007+08:00

Japan is such a pretty place. Whenever I think of it, the first thing that comes to mind is Mount Fuji. I'd like to go there one day to see the sakura trees. Or maybe just the flowerless sakura trees, since I want to go in winter. I want to see snow, I've been obsessed with seeing snow ever since I was little.

Small flakes floating in the air, landing on your clothes, your hair, coating everything.
I'd like to go to Japan please. (But bring me to London too, before Cesc leaves for Barcelona.)

Revenge

2010-02-28T16:46:00.002+08:00

I wish I could get even, like seriously seriously even. I have so many plans, so many ideas! But I don't want to go to hell.

I understand those people now, who rant and rant about love and all that shit. I've never done that because I wasn't such a stupid sucker but now I am. I'm the stupidest sucker you could ever find, who's the idiot?- I am!

It's okay now because I won't have to delude myself anymore. I keep saying how other people are deluded and all that shit, but how about myself?
No.

So I'm sorry, I'm the delusional maniac banging at my keyboard right now and listening to songs about bleeding pick up trucks. I'm so deluded! So freaking bloody deluded! But I'm fine now! Yes I'm okay!

Revenge is so sweet but I'll never be able to carry any of them out so I suppose I'll just forget about them, what a shame. I'm evil and ruthless and mean and I punch pretty hard but I'm bound to rules AND OH YEAH, I'M MILES AWAY so yeah, you should feel thankful.

I'm so relieved and laughing like mad because of all your cash that got flung out of the window so HAHAHA THAT'S SWEET REVENGE IN ITSELF! Ahh, life is good. I'm going to make myself some iced lemon tea, mm.

In love

2010-02-19T00:06:00.006+08:00

...with these, oh my god, YES.
Alexander McQueen is a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (too bad he's dead, sigh)

Jab likes the puffy one, but I still think the the peacock dress is the epic-est! :D

Early Morning Soccer

2010-02-18T10:56:00.004+08:00

So far, I've never seen Fabregas score.

I woke up at around 3.30am to watch Porto vs Arsenal. I don't really regret watching, it was an awesome match. First half was great to watch, everyone played pretty aggressively. Usually during the first few minutes they're slow and dumb but this time they weren't. I saw some Arsenal dude sort of head ram the ball away from the goal post. Not head butt. Head ram.

Porto got the first goal in in the 10th minute but the score was equalized by Sol in the 17th.

Second half was really stupid. I think there was a foul of some sort - I saw Sol Campbell putting his hands to his face. Then the referee took the ball, and sort of rolled it on the floor, maybe to pass to Fabianski, the goalkeeper? But then everyone in Arsenal was MCC and a Porto guy took a chance and just kicked the ball in. I was like, what the hell.

So because of Arsenal's MCCness, they lost. "That was stupid of Arsenal," the commentators said. I mean, they could have had a draw. There's more dignity in that.

2010-02-15T18:40:00.000+08:00

I said I'd be giving this up.
Now I'm not so sure.

2010-02-12T00:15:00.004+08:00

Things to be happy about :
1. MU had a draw
2. Chelsea lost
3. ARSENAL WON

I'm not ashamed to be an Asenal fan anymore!!!!

Sympathy

2010-02-10T19:30:00.003+08:00

Lately I've been having issues with people who are having issues with sympathy. Heck I'm one of them myself, but I'm pretty sure I'm getting better. It's not that hard really.

If you search for it in google, it'll pop out before you can even finish the sentence. And if it's on Google, you know for a fact that lots of people are searching for it. People want to know how to be sympathetic. How to master this... art.

If you're sympathetic, people love you. If they loved you originally and then you were sympathetic, they'd love you even more. This is a skill you either have or don't have. If you don't have it, then freaking learn. It will save your life.

According to wikiHow,
Sympathy is one of the most powerful emotions anyone can give or feel.

So that proves that it's well, pretty important.

Look at this.

So if someone called you crying and you followed the steps above, I guess you're covered. Also, you shouldn't talk about your problems. Talk about nice things. Like scenery. Or poems.

MOVING ON.

Arsenal vs Liverpool! 3.3oam. ESPN. Be theree.

*Insert Star Wars theme song

2010-02-06T17:42:00.005+08:00

I swear, some books can be so depressing. Like The Time Traveller's Wife. Gosh it's depressing. But the book I'm referring to now is A Walk To Remember. AHHHHHHH IT'S SO DEPRESSING. I'm not sure if I want to watch the movie. That'll be even worse.

Depressing things. So far. Reading that book, coupled with the fact that I'm sick.
Andddd, I've been procrastinating like hell. The only cell component I remember is the mitochondria. I'm not even sure if I spelled that right, argh.

Thank god I didn't go to school today.

But I feel a little less depressed now. I was reading Andrew's blog, I haven't seen it for like a week. I ended up laughing like crap, and coughing all over my computer screen. It's very common to hear coughing in my house now. But I digress. Andrew was writing about the Star Wars thing. See for yourself.

During English, Jannah actually wanted me to "teach" her the basics and principles of lightsaber combat!

Apparently, she wants to be in my next Adobe After Effects lightsaber project!
Unbelieveable, right? So, I taught her the fundamentals of each lightsaber style :

1. Shi-Cho = Simple and basic movements.
2. Makashi = Elegant, accurate and precise movements.
3. Soresu = Resilient, solid and defensive movements.
4. Ataru = Wide, aggressive, acrobatic-assisted movements.
5. Shien / Djem So = Parrying, counter-attacking movements.
6. Niman = Moderate, medium-type movements.
7. Juyo / Vaapad = Strong, ferocious movements.

I'm not sure if she actually understood what I said! All she knows how to do now is brandish and swing the sword around like a barbarian! But it's perfectly understandable, I guess. She's just a "padawan", after all! Well, if I do make another lightsaber video in the future, I'll be sure to include her in it, because she badly wants to be in it! [ smiles ]

Heck, I thought one of those moves was called "Syoru". But I think that's the name of a neopet. I'm like the next Darth Vader! :D

"Luke, I am your father!"
"But you're an innocent girl."
"Shit. Step mother then."

This is what happens when Star Wars freak meets new webcam :

There's good matches heading our wayy. Tonight there's MU vs Portsmouth. I'm banking on Portsmouth. Go Portsmouth! Trample MU! TERRORIZE THEM! And then there's tomorrow's with Chelsea vs Arsenal. Man, they should've kept the captain, that Terry guy. And on Thursday there's Liverpool vs Arsenal. I hope Arsenal wins (sorry Jessie)

Jab, Camille and Haziq

2010-02-02T15:15:00.005+08:00

I've been looking through some stuff. It's like, damn! Where did all those years go? All we've left of them are pictures and scribbles and stuff. Like this.

And insane dress designs (I just refine, ideas are all Jab's)

And permissions to go out for Wira Alam signed by Ustaz.

Anyway.

I go to class and it's so depressing. Because Beta isn't Omegaish anymore, it's more like Epsilon(no offence Epsilonese.) There is something called the 'Omega Spirit'. It's now dead as ever because the people who made up that spirit are all gone. To asrama. These people are like the goddamned FOREFATHERS. It's just, sad. My solar cooking peeps are all gone. I guess I won't be solarcooking water this year. And I guess Suzila will just forget about it, since you people aren't here anymore.

I will write about these three epic founders of Omega that I'll miss a whole freakin lot! (stalking your houses during the holidays isn't quite the same as stalking you guys at school)

Jab

I'll miss designing dresses, and talking about Ashley Tisdale/Disney related things with this ass. Seriously. This guy went to every single sabo, and party or whatever. And quite likes explosive things. I wrote a very cryptic letter to this him. HEH. And he remembers all my guy crazes. Sheikh Muszaphar, anyone? Entah la, I'll miss wasting school hours babbling with this freak. A genius, and doesn't want to admit it.

Kamal

He used to be damn emo in Form 1. And he is a MATHS PRODIGY. He can answer any damn question, and Halim and Shereen semua mengaku he is a genius. His genius is quite annoying, because when I'm just starting to struggle with the first few numbers, he dah siap. WTH?But still! This guy has also been to all the sabos. Memang can count him in lah. And he has a knack for saying the exact things you want to hear when you complain to him. Sometimes he's lazy and just says "Shit happens" but you're glad to hear it anyway because it's true.

Haziq

Ketua GK. And all other things that are disgusting. I remember he, the rest of the gang and I having avid lengthy discussions about quite sickening things. Haziq always was the most detailed. I learned a lot from him, good (as in informative), and bad (mostly bad heheh). We'll miss him (and his mom's lasagna) :D

Bottomline is,

WE'LL MISS ALL YOU SUCKERS. See you all during CNY haha :D

Apple Crumble

2010-01-29T22:17:00.002+08:00

So stupid. A gay conversation between my mom and I.

"Jannah, there's durian in the fridge."
She eats something out of a bowl with a spoon.

"Mm. Mm. Okay maybe later."
My mom stands there, chewing.

I stare at her for a while.
"Umi." I say, incredulous. "What kind of alien eats durian with a spoon?"
"Do you want to have this spoon on your head? It's not durian. It's apple crumble."

And then I laugh like an idiot.
-.-

Pre U (wah, so early ah?)

2010-01-28T16:41:00.004+08:00

Education Fair, Megamall.
Did you go? I'm just Form Four but I didddd.

Right now I'm on the floor, and university flyers are stacked all around me. Most of them are from the uber rich unis, like KDU College and UCTI. They gave me like, a paper bag full of booklets. Engineering. Business. Computing & Technology. Hell, I'm not even interested. They even gave me an application form wth -.-

And a calendar.
And a notebook.

Sorryyy, I'm still not interested UCTI. Heh. But thanks for the free stuff tho. >D

I liked Dasein Academy Of Art, I mean, their fliers double as epic posters. I almost wanted to take another one. Advertising damn berkesan, go Dasein!

Got all sorts of stuff from 11 universities. I counted.

KDU College even has counsellors to help you. The lady was totally nice, helped me get over the 10 subjects thing. Made me miss Durai. Where the hell is he now? Anyway, KDU is so rich, they let me have the hugeass Prospectus '10 It All Starts Here book. I didn't even ask for it. She was like, "Okay, take the book" and I'm like, "Really ah?"
Gosh they're rich.

I gots stuffs from Mahsa Medical University College. Which I'm planning to mail all the way to Sg Petani. Jaja might be interested, I know she wants to cut people's hearts out for a living.
:D

I think Monash is noice! And INTI's PJCAD! Dunno why, but I'm loiking Monash >D

I waaaaant, to applyyyyyyyyy, for an Australian PR.
GAHDYVJJJKBCGJHBKNgvdcsgrdfhh5465cxWDAGFGCFX!!!!!
T_T

2010-01-22T18:51:00.002+08:00

Quickie.

Arsenal is top of the table.
HAHA

Okay I'll go study now

Celebrations!

2010-01-21T18:07:00.002+08:00

HAPPY HEAVY DUTY KACAU ANDREW DAY

21st January 2010

ANDREW

2010-01-19T14:29:00.005+08:00

Because apparently 2 days of not blogging = dead, and Andrew is mengada so I will type one whole long post about what's happened so far in 2010, which is pretty much nothing. If you call switching classes planting trees, Add Maths and soccer matches 'nothing' that is. 'Something' is like maybe meeting someone famous... OH WAIT HOLD THAT THOUGHT, I DID.

Guess guess guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait for it.............

wait for it..............

wait for it

wait for it

wait for it.......................

THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FIND HIM PRETTY COOL SO THERE! I met his wife and his anak and stuff! Awesomeness! I got his autograph (he's not a celeb but what the heck right?)

Um what else? I'm in like a total hyper state right now, god knows why. Explains why theres so many !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!s and bla and bla. Uh in '1o I also watched a couple of matches, the best so far being Arsenal vs Everton (Nazhan you suck for missing that one) I mean honestly, it was EPIC. Everyone was sort of sucky and slow and stuff but who cares! It started snowing, and it was so pretty and 3 people passed out! And the players left their tracks in the snow, and Arsene Wenger had an extremely red nose! I love Wenger. He DOES look like an old French Rowan Atkinson.

And I would so like to talk about the news but I'm scared that I'll screw up my computer keyboard with my puke.

I have a crap perjumpaan rumah sukan in like an hour. And I need to go to the bathroom. But I'll keep typing anyway, for Andrew mah (HAHA) I don't know, is this interesting to you, Andrew? Soccer and Anwar Ibrahim and Arsene Wenger?

This year also I've started a visual journal. I was supposed to draw/paint/whatever something every single day of the year, but FAIL. I just haven't the time, with all the Add Maths and Physics and stress and whatever! But I think I'll post recent stuff soon. have a look http://www.avisualjournal.tumblr.com/ VERY uninspired link I know but I'm just too well, uninspired to think of a new one. Ideas welcome. Okay uh, I think that's it? I have books to read and bathrooms to go to, BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

FUN STUFF

2010-01-14T21:59:00.002+08:00

BLOOD

(beautiful stuff.)

Don't forget I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-09T17:24:00.004+08:00

I'm so depressed. I thought of being more optimistic, but after writing this poem I realised how miserable I really was. I should've appreciated Form 3 more. It's no freaking wonder he left me so fast. When I say he I mean Form 3. Yes, Forms are male. Amazing isn't it?

Woe is me
I was left by my darling Form 3
Yes, I've got Form 4
But I'll never adore
him as I adored you,
you see

It's been a week
but still it's you I seek
Impossible I know
this year is so bleak
so far.

Add maths is a pain and
physics a bane
Form 3 you remain
my favourite.
J'adore!

And this poem down here is specially for you, Add Maths. Because of you, I might get old faster. Thank you! I love you. So much. So much I want to strangle you, boil you, chop you up into small mince meat bits, and flush you down the school toilet. Muah!

Calculating
recalculating
How many times I've tried
HOW THE HELL DO I DO THIS?
I WANT TO DIE.

2010

2010-01-01T23:49:00.003+08:00

This'll be a short one. I didn't want to miss out posting a post on the 1st day of the year, oh no!

Here's my visual journal sketch. The first of '10. Okay happy new years!!!!!

See you on New Year's

2009-12-30T00:13:00.004+08:00

Scarves. Singing. Cheers. Goal!

Honestly! I should've started watching soccer AGES ago. I've missed so much. But I did watch Liverpool lose spectacularly to Portsmouth, and MU to Fulham when I was in Langkawi. Epic matches! I love soccer.

Two weeks have passed. It's now the 30th. I swear, so much has happened. So much it's RIDICULOUS. Anyway, I'm going to save the PMR results cash I got from very nice people :)
With it I'm going to go to Paris, and see a match at Old Trafford. Well that's my plan. Who knows if it'll ever come true. Well I can always use it to watch Paramore in SG instead. Brick By Boring Brick live? Oh yes!

Found this in Flickr. A match at Old Trafford : MU vs Arsenal. That's what I want to watch! Except I wouldn't pin myself all over with MU pins. I'd pin Arsenal pins. Wooo! I LOVE CESC FABREGAS!

Well, there's only two days left of 2009.
HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?
2010, what have you in store for me?

If the ending of 08 was like this, I wonder how 09's will be like?

What was the ending of 08 for moi? It was - running home to get my camera and missing half the fireworks, running over to Lynn clutching my stomach and telling Haziq to go and die over the phone - and when they finally got to Rabung I'd already reached home, gaylords as they are.

"What is that god-awful wet dog smell?"

2009-12-11T18:45:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother blogging. So if I don't for a week or a month or so, don't be surprised.

Finally got the chance to watch New Moon. Well. It was, quite honestly, godawfully boring. But hysterically funny, at least to me. Actually I want to see it again, but next time I'll skip the first 50 insanely monotonous minutes. The part that actually got me ever so slightly interested was Taylor Lautner. Hell yes. He made my free movie ticket WORTH IT.

Oh my god. He is the epitome of buffness. He probably sent millions of girls everywhere into a permanent state of hyperventilation. I MEAN, LOOK. LOOK, GODDAMN IT. THEY STICK UP LIKE THEY'VE BEEN GLUED. ARE THOSE THINGS EVEN REAL?

I so recommend this to you, if you can figure out the funniness in parts normal people don't find funny at all. I was in spasms when Edward was fighting in the Volturi's lair and got smashed on the marble and when Dakota Fannning used her super staring powers on him. HILARIOUS. Other people didn't seem to get the ridiculousness of it all. They were like, "Oh no, poor Edward!" and I'm all "HAHAHA HAHAHA AHAHAH! SUCKER!!!!!!"

You know what else is funny? The parts at the very beginning. The part when Bella goes," Shoot, papercut." What an amazingly lot of blood for just a papercut. All the vampires are like GASP and Jasper THROWS himself at Bella, making this really hilarious face. Then they were all staring at her with really stoney and were practically screaming silently "I'm a model, take my picture!". God I so want to watch it again. It's a total comedy.

"I WILL SUCK YOUR BLOOD!"

And that part when Aro clutches Bella's hands and says, "I CAN'T SEE." Maybe it's those shocking red light obstructing contacts you're wearing..?

Jess, Lynn and I love the part when Jacob's standing in the rain, quite exposed, with his hair (in a very awesome new cut) drenched. Stupid Bella. Why take Edward? He's as boring as hell.

"Don't make me choose, Jake, because it'll always be him. It has always been him."

SHUT UP BELLA, YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

Not that I'm a Twilight fan, but this movie really bugs me. When I was reading the book I was actually rooting for Edward but the movie kind of made me change my mind. Let's make a comparison.

JACOB VS EDWARD

Jacob : So muscle-ey it hurts, awesome, and fun. Not to mention he saved Bella's ass quite a few times, and actually helped her when she went into a depression. And buff. And buff. And yes, buff. He also turns into a very cute wolf.

Edward : Boring, sucks blood, worsens hypothermia and is not buff. His abs are undefined. Bleah. In conclusion he is blah, Jacob is awesome and Bella is brain dead. She shouldn't fall for Eddie's "Marry me, Bella?"

And this was the bit when everyone, not just me, was laughing. They looked as if they escaped from an asylum. Loony sparkling vampires, anyone?

Tragic.

I hate planes

2009-12-08T21:26:00.004+08:00

On the plane, I had the most irrational urge to bang my head on the seat in front. I wanted to prick myself with a pin to see a little globule of blood, and smell its familiar rusty scent. And I wanted the pain to distract me from everything else. I wanted to rip the magazines, the barf bag, the menu, into miniscule pieces. But I didn't, because the Indonesian guy and the chinese woman in chic clothing who were sitting beside me would think I was insane. Also, harming myself would be hypocritical. And I was too much of a hippie to have the guts to rip a single page.

Getting off was a mash. And there was this smell - I wasn't sure it was armpits or potato chips. I was pretty relieved when I got to breathe again. I got some coffee and instead of getting wired, I wanted to puke.

Gr I shouldn't go to piano concerts. I feel stupid. I can barely play Happy Birthday. And the only key I can play on the guitar is A. And D. Even after Nazhan telling me over and over which strings to press for G and C, I keep forgetting. Only A stuck. He can play pretty epicly. Goddamned piano prodigy, with his messed up black and purple hair.

Uncharted 2 : Among Thieves

2009-11-30T00:05:00.010+08:00

It's epic. And surprisingly comical.

It starts with this guy, Nate. He's in a train, and he's covered in blood. Quite suddenly, he finds himself clinging to the chairs because that compartment of the train was dangling from a cliff, like this :

And so Nate the bleeding wonderboy jumps from chair to chair without so much as a limp and miraculously jumps to the safety of flat land. He's bleeding, void of warm clothing and stuck in the middle of nowhere at 20 degrees below 0, and he's alive! Praise the lord, he's aliveeeeeeee!!!!!!

He's not afraid of dizzyingly high crumbling temple roofs and he doesn't slip on the icy Himalayan mountaintops! Wow! And he's cute too!

AMAZING.

But alas, he is an idiot. He doesn't know how to "love the one he's with". Nate risks his life to save Chloe, the sexy raven haired ass that double crossed him (see? idiot.) from the Russian mafia king who took her away and takes no notice of Elena, the boring blonde reporter that just happens to be the only person left he came with (who is still loyal and alive) and who is quite obviously smitten with his rougish good looks (I mean honestly, who wouldn't be? People would go gay for him.)

He slips off a cliff, and dies. Then is resurrected! He gets shot by a sniper. He's alive again! This guy is truly awesome. Too bad he's an idiot.

(He must stink, after all those days of no baths.)

PS I'm talking about a PS3 story-game-thing.

The End

2009-11-27T18:48:00.000+08:00

..."Clyde is slumped forward , the back of his head a mat of blood...I scramble over the hood of the car and throw open the door on Bonnie's side. The impression will linger with me from this instant — I see her falling out of the opened door, a beautiful and petite young girl...and I smell a light perfume against the burned-cordite smell of gunpowder..."

Awake at 12

2009-11-27T00:09:00.004+08:00

" Well jannah, i managed to send you this message, which therefore proves that i CAN stay awake until 12! Haha! "

Well Andrew, I guess you're a man now.

Anyone in there?

2009-11-25T23:43:00.007+08:00

Sorry, I'm feeling quite unlike myself, but I have to make a public insult to someone anonymous. Forgive me. I'm being hypocritical, because I scoff at people who do that, and yet I am going to be one of them. I say "Why doesn't that freak just tell that person in his/her face instead of ranting publicly about an anonymous someone and making everybody think they're the ones that are being cursed at?" I thought I wanted to.The thing is I can't. I can't. My PIC is telling me no. He sits in front of me, snickering. He's always snickering.

I can't. I don't want to swear in this blog that I've neglected for oh so very long. I can't. I need a coffee. Crap, I need a coffee.

These are not tears of sadness
I've just been cutting onions
I'm making a
Lasag-na!

Oh he laughs at me. I may be screwed up, but he's a pretty messed up sarcastic bugger himself. Blood, blood! Beautiful blood. Secrets. Blood.

Hellooooo Clean Start

2009-11-06T23:57:00.006+08:00

White rooms. Red carpet. The ratio of guests to staff? Probably 1:1 and a half. Lynn. Kaelan. Kaevin. Hip Hop fail. A freak show (consisting of us). Free stuff. Yep, this pretty much sums up the Dermalogica Clean Start launch I went to just now.

Woooo free stuff! I may be like this but the biggest sucker for free stuff is probably Lynn. Hee!

Kaelan actually got voted Mr Clean Start. I knew he'd get it, there wasn't many other teenage guys there. -.-

If you want to see Kaelan modelling/his muka bajet, you can look at it in Facebook. I'll upload the gambars when I'm a little less lazy. I shall also upload Jesses party pics, yay!

PS Anyone know anything about neurosis?
PPS I think the new MSN is freaking ugly.

Insanity, for real

2009-11-03T23:07:00.004+08:00

Has anyone here ever thought they had some sort of mental disorder? Like, for real. Not just oh-I-am-so-neurotic-and-bipolar-har-har. Who honestly thought they were suffering from antisocial personality disorder, dual personality disorder, tourettes, neurosis?

Ever seriously considered going to a psychologist or a therapist?

And have you ever heard of John Haigh? He's a middle class, respectable, well-dressed man. British. He had charm. And a wife. Nothing bizarre about that. Except the fact that he's a serial killer. He murdered six people, including his friend's parents. And his dog. He drank the blood of everyone he killed and dissolved their bodies in concentrated sulphuric acid. Then he poured the bodies, that by then had become sludge, into the drain. He was deluded to thinking he was commiting the perfect crime. He was caught, and he admitted his murders cheerfully, proudly.

"Well, if I told you the truth, you would not believe me. It sounds too fantastic to believe".
- John Haigh

How disturbingly fascinating.

It's truly interesting how the mind works. How it can trap you. How it strips you of humanity and feeling. How it disconnects you from the rest of the world. How it can empower you, but for the wrong reason. You can break a lock, hack a password. Crack a code and break out of jail. These are physical things. But say you were stuck in an unstable state of mind, how will you escape that? How do you fight yourself?

These past few days, I've been researching disorders. Tourettes, for example. When somebody has tourettes, they experience tics. Tics can be like twitching, or screaming out a swear word without actually meaning to. People who have tourettes can feel a tic coming, just like any other person can feel a sneeze coming. You try to stop it, but you sneeze anyway. The same goes for tics.

Being bipolar is very scary. You'll have an intense feeling of esctacy and at the next moment, begin to entertain suicidal thoughts. It can cause you to act impulsively, on a whim. And you could very well kill yourself if you happen to be in the state of manic depression. There's a few types, all equally terrifying.

And there's the most intriguing disorder yet. Sosiopathy. This is also known as Antisocial Personality Disorder, and the people who have it are called sociopaths, or psychopaths. You wouldn't want to be one. Sosiopaths don't love. They don't feel remorse. They're so good at lying, they could pass a lie detector test. People like these are extremely difficult to detect because they follow the norm, and feign empathy. Plus, they have this charm that draws you in.
Think Twilight.

I wouldn't think anyone would bother reading this extremely rambling post about mental disorders, except Jess who (is pretty frecken awesome and) reads every word. Maybe I should be a psychologist. I can be a hippie psychologist. That's even better.

I think I may have creeped out Andrew. What do you call a perverse pleasure to creep people out? At the same time I know it's just so wrong. God. Godddddddd.

Speaking of Jess, I will start talking about less morbid things. First of all, Happy Birthday Jessie! Hope you had a good one. I know it was worth the episode of depression afterwards. This year's party was pretty epic. I'm happy it happened. I'll put pictures in my other blog, since somehow it doesn't fit here. Here's pretty grim.

I'll break that mood. I listened to Morningwood this morning, and they are AWESOME. I hope they put their new album up for listening soon.