I don't think it's something I should be afraid of, but it is.
I realise little things, things you wouldn't even really think about, could totally change how you live, how you see things. And it scares me because the change is so sudden, it takes you completely off guard and sends you hurtling off into some totally unexpected path.
It's happened so much recently, and I can't help getting a little... worried. It's not necessarily bad, these changes, but the sheer suddenness and violentness of when it takes you is just unnerving. I'm not sure how to explain it without really want to getingt into details.
You could take for example maybe a guy you just see in class. You're not really friends, but you don't have a reason to hate him. He's pleasant, and you might like him even. Sometimes you say hi when you happen to stumble upon each other, but besides that he's not much of anything to you.
But then something happens, literally just overnight, and suddenly it's impossible to see him the same way anymore. He's ceased to be just a nobody. Suddenly, he's an abject figure of hate.
And then there's the other thing. How I can suddenly well, love something so much, when yet just hours ago I really didn't.
Maybe for so long I've been deluded into thinking I had control of what happened to me. And then all these things happen, and now I'm just in shock.
Change.
I always thought I could handle it, but the truth is, I can't.
