Unfortunately, it combusted

My brain won't take anything in anymore.

And that's really annoying. It won't stop being a pissy bitch, rejecting and rejecting any form of information related to studying. Especially chemistry and physics. It's insane. I'm going insane. Thank god that tomorrow's the last day - but the thing is, what if I'm just doing the exam but without a smattering of care? Because that's just it. I just don't care anymore, and that really scares me.

I care.
I don't care.
I care.
I dont.

It's a vicious neverending cycle and I suppose my brain is just opening up its line of self defence. Cuz if I push it even harder the cookie dough which is my messed up mind may be even more messed up beyond repair.

I don't know. It's my fault. I didn't study enough. I have horrible time management skills and I lack sleep. So yeah. To be completely honest with myself I think my marks this time will not be what I want it to be. I don't want to say 'horrible', because if it is I'd just break down.

I'm not even sure if what I'm writing now makes sense, because I'm just pouring and pouring these screwed up god knows whats into this Blogger text box.

It's just so sickening. I don't care anymore. There are times when I just stare at the question incredulous and say "WHAT THE HELL AM I EVEN STUDYING THIS FOR? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA GODDAMN USE IT!"

I have internal fights with myself all the time and it's killing me. Killing me.